I woke up in the morning and honestly I wasn’t feeling so great. 😡 Then I immediately switched to YouTube and saw a couple of videos over there about how to overcome a nagging feeling you have at the back of your mind about someone you’ve lost – in terms of relationship or death.
What I’ve learnt from watching different videos and summed up is that when we lose someone we also lose the connection, attachment, warmth and love we’ve associated with that person. So, after that loss occurs our brain enters into a loop where we have these constant thoughts/obsession with respect to that person. It is like our brain is repeatedly making us realise about our loss. We become hyper aware of everything that’s happening to that person. Forming our own theories about their life and dwelling on it. Although it is exhausting, it is quite a natural response to a loss and it is a form of trauma called as intrusion – where we feel like we are constantly preoccupied by the thoughts of that person. It is natural and can be overcome. From today, I am going to try and beat those obsessive thoughts and I’ll explain how –
- When you wake up in the morning the thoughts are more persistent and the loss seems more greater.Allow yourself to take some time and recognize that it is a part of how you feel. As the day escalates, you’ll start getting more perspective and don’t feel as incredibly sad.
- Everytime you feel like making assumptions about that person and their emotions, just ask yourself – is what I’m assuming 100% right? Afterall they’re just assumptions.
- Everytime you have a thought about that person try to think about something else! Silly even, I know it is extremely hard to NOT THINK ABOUT THEM but you gotta break the pattern over and over again.
- You will feel longing for that person and start thinking about all those good memories you had together etc and desire to reconnect. DON’T. JUST DON’T. Because no matter how good the relationship /friendship was if you are at this phase in your life because of it then it wasn’t the right relationship for both of you.
- Don’t go back to someone who once broke you. Your illusion will trick you into believing that they might not be so bad afterall. But, it is an illusion. You don’t have to back to someone who didn’t see your value or respected you.
- There might be strong urges to check up on them and their life, through online stalking or scooping information from friends. Don’t. That’s not good for you, and during healing your primary intention is to do things that are good for you. Take the right decisions not the appealing ones.
- Whoever they end up with, do not compare yourself to them because that’s just super, super unfair because duh! You have certain qualities that others can never have!
- I also read somewhere that to overcome pain you need to find something thats bigger than you. To me, I’ll take to writing. I’ll write about my journey and my experiences through this phase and share it with the world. Discuss it and overcome it one day at a time.
These are couple of my techniques Im gonna try and help myself with. Do you have more? How had you dealt with having obsessive thoughts regarding someone / situation? Please feel free to comment or write me on mail – firstname.lastname@example.org