When all you gave was love
And all you received in return was indifference
When your thoughts become foggy
And your judgment’s become cloudy
Though you know they’re toxic
And even so, you still run towards them like they’re your air, so essential and like a need so basic
It is time now, tune up your standards, girl
If the sole thing they’re bringing is disdain,
Hurl ’em out, girl
Open the screens on your eyes and lower that rose tinted glass,
You’ll find out for yourself that they’ve always been nothing, but only unworthy and crass.
And, finally the truth will set you free.
You’ll taste freedom, that’s your only key.
I’ve always felt afraid to speak in front of a gathering. The fears like, what if I stumble or what if I forget my content on the stage frighten me to no end!
I actually had to give a seminar demonstration today, for which I had been jittery the past week – losing sleep and all. I went bat shit crazy imagining me presenting before a large audience along with a couple of profs from my college.
When my moment arrived to get on stage and speak, I had trained myself to be less nervous. I refrained myself from being overpowered by the quantity of gathering. The one thing that helped me stay put was that I told myself that I’m imperfect. I told myself that I’m flawed. I assured myself that, what anyone thought about me or my persona would just be an impression and not a fact. The trouble with me is that I take myself too seriously, which refrains me from living my life to the fullest.
Several bits of advice that I’d like to give myself is: What others perceive of me is not who I am and everyone cannot and shouldn’t be pleased, because it would leave me in despair in the long run. I am important and needed, even though sometimes I may not feel it. Lastly, I should not be disappointed if others have a laugh at my expense and I should learn to see the humour in myself.
My presentation went alright and it has uplifted my confidence a tad bit more. After having a string of the gloomy days, today is proving to be a pleasant one so far.
I hope we overcome small challenges daily to boost our confidence. We’re all worth it guys, we altogether are. Always carry your head high and don’t ever hesitate yourself from taking that leap of faith from time to time!
When will, ” I am not feeling okay in my mind.” will be considered as a legitimate excuse to take a leave? I am emotionally weighing down today because I don’t seem to be matching the pace of work at my university. I am feeling a little crushed under the weight of all the work I need to get done. Sometimes the professors at my university are not very considerate and I’m feeling a little afraid about their criticism on my work. What if it is not good enough? What if I don’t have it in me to make it good enough?
Today, I’m not even sure if I’m on the right path. I have one more semester to go before I graduate. I don’t want to feel so dejected at the final step of completing my degree. But, at the same time, I am not able to do the assigned work due to my fear of failure and harsh criticism. I wish my professors understand as to what to expect from their students rather than harshly judging us.
Facebook: A place to connect with old and new pals, helps users in keeping up with their friends along with a couple of relatives and sharing bits of personal life as well.
Unfortunately, I am not keen anymore in doing any of the following. I had created my account in 2011 when I was in high school, naturally like any average teenage girl I was Lowkey obsessed with the application. I was charmed with all the friend requests – especially from potential crushes (LOL!). I wanted to upload a really cute profile picture with a witty caption to impress God knows who – maybe my fellow Facebookers, who actually don’t give a damn (at least not 30 seconds after viewing anybody’s picture). And, I don’t reckon I need to keep up with my friends in terms of where and when they’re checking in and checking out every hour. I mean, I know where my actual friends are and what they’re doing so basically that feature became pretty pointless to me because through Facebook I was keeping up with stranger’s life as well which was an… ridiculous. I didn’t even know them and I couldn’t for the life of me think of how we ended up being the so called ‘friends’.
Facebook basically gives you access to anybody’s life – at least to some extent you can know how the other person is doing by looking at their profile. So, it is nearly impossible to not know how your ex boyfriend or the mean ex friend is managing. I recognize, self control is important to not browse through people’s profile, but Facebook makes it really easy to access anybody’s profile that it becomes hard to resist. It is really a very powerful trigger of anxiety, it literally beckons you to be on your toes to find out stuff you absolutely have no need to know. Sometimes, not knowing is fantastic.
I was actually spending a good deal of time on Facebook which means I was spending a lot of my precious time in other people’s lives. It almost became suffocating watching how people can forge a perfect life just to appear cooler. I didn’t want to be a part of that community any longer. I finally had enough of it.
That’s why, I made a decision to delete my Facebook account for good. Of course Facebook isn’t letting me go easily because it keeps reminding me that I can retrieve my account in 14 days. Only, I’ve resolved to delete all kinds of social media except Twitter and Snapchat – I don’t use them much and don’t spend as much time on them as I did with Facebook.
I am excited to look forward to a life where I’m not bound by Facebook or Instagram. 😁
Have you made any changes in the patterns of using social media for better? Have you stopped using these platforms? How has it benefitted you ? I’d love to know. 😊😊
Guys, since I want to connect with each one of you here and I sort of came up with this idea to do a question tag where you can come to know a little more about me. The sole purpose of doing this to increase the connectivity I have with you. Should be fun 🙂
1. Full name : Anaida Sultana ( If you’d like reach out to me through Facebook, use this name in the search bar)
2. THREE THINGS I LOVE : Reading, Blogging and Fashion.
3. Turn ons: Kindness, Decent Grammar and Good taste in fashion.
4.Turn offs: People who are self obsessed.
5.The Reason I blog: I love writing and expressing the clutter of emotions in my head through words. Also, blogging gives a wonderful opportunity to read other people’s stories as well. The feedback I receive makes me want to write more and improve my style as well. So, overall blogging is a win-win for me.
6. Pets: I don’t own any pets.
7. Something that is constantly on my mind: About my future.
8.Educational Qualification: Studying Engineering in the field of Electronics and Communication.
9.Nationality : Indian
10. Do you want to know anything in particular? SHOOT!
Hey, guys thanks for sticking around and reading till the end. 🙂
Beforehand writing this piece I want to say that I’m miffed and infuriated how our society works. I distinguish that I’m a part of this society too and to some extent, I’m the problem too .From this moment on I want to change in what way my natural thinking works and be a little more conscious towards the judgments I pass on people unknowingly/grudgingly/due to being jealous. When we pass judgments we are completely unaware of the effect we have on the being we target, we are being self-centred in doing so and it is not fair to anyone. It is a natural urge to criticize yet we cannot handle the criticisms which are intended to us and that’s why it is unfair to let someone go through what we cannot bear. Recently I had my real close friend (a guy) Text me that he saw a few people on the road looking at me while he was just passing to go somewhere, I was inquisitive and requested him what did he intend on telling me -he told me that whenever people look at me or talk to me it is scarcely ever because I’m smart or good-looking but because I have a “voluminous” body! THE NERVE OF HIM! I asked him what actually made him draw such assumptions in the first place, for which he voiced me that I have “bigger assets” compared to other girls and that is what makes other people absorbed “to look at me” and that is the reason men “admire and give me attention” . Oh my goodness, how sick can this fellow get? Being a “good friend” doesn’t he think how telling me those things could just make my confidence hit a ground zero? He went on to suggest how I must change the way I dress in a more “conservative way” where I “hide” my ample assets. HUH. JUST TO BE MORE FITTING IT SEEMS!!! That night, I instantly summon up all the interactions I have had with men and couldn’t help myself but think, what if he is correct. I spent the whole evening thinking about how people perceive me and my body and if my assets were the only interesting aspect about me. It made me incredibly sad, made me question my worth. That was thoroughly horrifying. The next day I woke up and realised a lot of things. First thing, he was not a good friend. Second, what others supposed or didn’t think of me was none of my business. Third, I didn’t have to fucking change the manner I dressed. When it comes to women I see a lot of men become self-appointed moral police trying to “protect” us by setting rules, telling us a dude’s perception on how they are waiting to devour our body at any minute. Seriously to all these kind of men who think they are only protecting women, we do have our womanly instincts to sense danger and keep away from it. Y’all do not have to instruct us on changing our lifestyle so that we can be more suitable. If whatever you should edify other men about how they possibly treat womankind. To the overall women out there just be yourself-dress as you like, eat what makes you happy, have opinions even though others might not stay in agreement with you, go out with your friends, take pictures. As long as you are not putting yourself in potential danger, live your life on your own terms even if people try to tell you otherwise!